Track Name: ya'll boots hats? (die angry)
i remember going broke at the bar. i remember doing drugs in my car. please don't hold my hand, i need to get up. derrida. i don't know what i'm doing. derrida. i don't know where i am. i remember you were moving back home. i remember coming home all alone. i'll be dying angry. i need to get out of the city. carolina. we share the same blood. i'm not your brother. i miss you. i think i love you.
Track Name: irrevocable, motherfucker
i'll never learn, i guess. it was a birth through burn before this ice in my chest. ode to the ones that made, forgotten by us who changed. (and the pieces that fit together, they won't fall apart.) i thought you knew how to walk but you don't talk and i don't talk. i guess i became the worst. would have thought you went first. but i couldn't stop. so stubborn, running in the rain. but who the fuck are they to say? please let the dogs in, okay. no shame, no remorse. further your fucked up way of saying i miss you. i'm not saying that.
Track Name: hot & informed
i've got to stop meeting people at strange times in my life. hold the door, open the door. open the door. pointless small endeavors, to nothing. keep coming home alone. pasta. water. small rooms. tiny steps. and a bird got its wings clipped, so it won't fly anymore. american homes: what do you do when you're alone?
Track Name: anniversary song
lovers will get drunk and flutter. then run dry, and scavenge. falling to the cold but i won't be one. it seems to me that sweet sincerity, she's just a myth these days. here's your anniversary. ten years down the drain. pull the curtains. the plot's been given away. the artful chase and eloquent dance, just a futile sway between the eyes, the lips and the soft breath. it's a bullshit give and take, for what you will. and then it becomes a reluctant mistake. here's your anniversary. ten years down the drain. and everyone knows everything about being alone, but i still don't.
Track Name: why am i not going under walter?
two timing no good motherfuckers live across the street from where i met you. when they dragged you out, you only had to shout. i would have came for you. it's in my head. i'll talk to god when i am dead. i can see you here with me. it's in my chest and in my teeth. i'm into it. i had it then. no counting on it. i told you what happened. you used to be so cool. a waste of time i saw, but i don't know. it's in my head. it's in my teeth and in my chest.
Track Name: my black dog / cosmic being
nobody gives a shit anymore. the things you're laying down are much too heavy on me. fuck that sinking feeling. i've been crawling on my back these past few weeks. (i'm skipping out on it every other night.) fuck dude, there's a black dog chewing on my neck. i think i'm suffocating. (we tied a knot around.) i'm always running through a tunnel. heavy hearted in stride. but i stopped holding my breath. there was no light in sight. keeping busy and my mind off being alone but it seems that's all i ever really want these days. and just then you let the sun in and i stared at it for way too long. and now i'm blind. can't see nothing wrong with what you're doing to me. (summer came and we all moved away. don't get excited by the things that people say. i tried to warn you.) can you feel the distance? can you feel the growth? can you feel the warmth coming from my lies? (in his car. in your car. oh my god. black hole.)
Track Name: broken cigarettes
you were born to decide "who will you fuck over in your life?" sitting in the backseat of a car, and you're loaded? doesn't add up. i want another wouldn't-have-it-any-other best friend on a bad day that i don't have to call. you. you're doing fine without me. but you are your mother's daughter who led me out to the slaughter. i can respect that. i'm not bored, i'm apathetic. i'll try harder to forget it. i was flying to the moon whenever you were around. you were slinging black holes and i got lost in the sound. not that you'd ever understand, but if you wanted to know, you could make me. you could break be. you choose to waste me. the only love i'll ever know. pull up the car to your house. i come out, you come out. unprepared. undecided on. wave that caught my eye. i will try. i'll go back inside. you'll go see him. watch my body die.
Track Name: theories on relativity by david nicholas by glocca morra
hey. i don't like your friends. i don't want to wake up. i don't want to wake up in a new era pulled from the middle. days replacing weeks. months in my own bed, on the L train, in the same day. i'll see you tonight. make you less refined. i'm so happy i could die. hey. don't look so down. just look around. you were right.
Track Name: eat the fucking snow
i was looking at, what, twenty feet of snow. that kept us in a fifth story apartment. but i don't. so he can have another. some things stick when you throw hard enough. but i don't. he can have another. i reinvest myself into the auction hell. play it a little faster every hour. it can happen to you any day now. so i sit alone, up in my room listening to old green day records. all by myself. some favorite bands, a couple friends, and what it means to be sixteen again. these old things make me. i was on the beach. too clear, the memory. too sad to see it go but too fucked up to care. i spent my summer in your parents bedroom getting stoned and doing nothing. spent my winter in some old apartments getting stoned and doing nothing. spent my summer in your parents bedroom watching casey make her own choices forever.
Track Name: 40 hugger / get fucked
i find it hard to be lighthearted when all i'm looking for is an honest fuck. just like it is to fight the feeling when it's easier to just give up. oh, just like me to make such a big deal when it wasn't for what could have been. here's the problem: it's never the ones that i want that call. can i be happy i'm even thought of at all? i'm not as empty as i used to be. it's simple. don't ask don't tell. (i'm not going out tonight.) no more painting walls. no hopes at all. no time investing in an obsession. but i'll see you there tomorrow cause i'll be thinking of her. and somehow, my friend, you always know how to kill it. you're always getting in it.
Track Name: me + geniene
i'm not that kind of man. i can't explain why i can't get better at being restless. she pulls me back into the center of my life. this love for you won't be enough. i'll carve my body into yours when the time comes. i've got you all worked up over nothing. you don't know. leave now that the bottle's empty. oh no. cover your ears for the breaking glass. you know, it ain't so easy. bury in the awful taste you left when you went off finding yourself. where does that leave me? my friend, in love again. it's me and geniene. i'm in the awful taste you left when you went off finding yourself. where does that leave me? my friend, in love again. it's me and geniene. (young hearts beating violently. eating each other alive, faster than eyes can see.)